January 12, 2005 - 2:45 p.m. Late last night, we finally had that talk about religion. He's not exactly who I thought he was, and I'm glad for it. And though he doesn't approve, per se, of my sense of call, he said he would never tell me that I shouldn't. I'm not sure which is worse: open hosility or tacit disapproval. It's so hard to face that kind of resistance from someone--from everyone--so important. As I told him, I don't know if this is supposed to be a test or a redirection that none of my friends here can accept that a woman could possibly belong in a pulpit. Do I, though? Do I belong? I used to be so sure, but I'm forgetting what I used to know. Father, forgive me for my doubt. ...before & after...