May 07, 2005 - 3:47 p.m. It's crazy to think that I've finished an entire year of college. Remember that feeling of walking out of school on the last day when it's already hot and we know we have nothing but summer reading to do for two months. Well, that didn't happen this year. Instead, I just kinda took my last final and packed up my stuff and came home with two semesters of TU education under my belt. I can still remember (somewhat) what it felt like to be a bored, frustrated, yet angsty high school senior, stuck in limbo. I remember wondering what my room was going to look like and who my friends were going to be. I both wanted my classes to be so hard that I couldn't make A's and a 4.0 GPA. I hoped that I would maintain contact with my high school friends, those people who put up with my arrogance and tolerated my jokes. I now know what it is like to live in a college dorm; I know that not all roommate stories are horror stories. In fact, my roommate is one of my best friends. I know that there's a lot more space in that 12x16 than you'd think. I know who my friends are. I've met some really incredible people, and we've all frequently discussed how blessed we are that God brought us together so quickly and so perfectly. I'm so glad that I didn't really have to change personalitites; if anything, I can be more of who I really am and less of the valedictorian. I am the person that you dear ones knew and still know. I'm not the bookworm that the others expected. I didn't jump off any deep-ends (or fraternity house roofs). I made good grades, and even had a 4.0 last semester. I might keep my GPA, but not all my grades are in yet. As for keeping in touch with the old crowd, I had mixed success. Some I talk to more than others. But I think of you all often and tell our stories. I now know that what we had was unique among high school students. We had friends in high school who actually knew us and even liked us for it, who supported us in being good and doing well, and who had goals for life. I didn't know last year that I would be a chemistry-English double major or that I'd have a full year of AP credit. I didn't know that my Call but not my politics would be questioned. I didn't know that I would be happier in Tulsa, Oklahoma that I ever could have been in Hanover, New Hampshire. I didn't know that I'd learn to ski or to drive a stick-shift or to make aspirin. I had no idea last year that this year I'd come home with a serious boyfriend. I didn't know that I'd lose a friend or spend so much money. I know that I'm just recapping and looking back and that this is nothing new and nothing that you didn't already know. But this is important to me. I look back on my depression last May and realize this May that I've been happy. And that is a very big deal. ...before & after...