January 23, 2005 - 8:30 p.m. A few nights ago, we were sitting and not really talking and Nyssa left the room and he asked me if I was okay. I will be, I said. No really. I'm just a little tired at the moment. I paused and said, You're starting to be able to tell the difference, between happy and sad, I mean. And he said, Some. And mostly, I'm just realizing that there's a lot more sad than I once thought. By the look on his face, he was so disappointed that I should ever be down, and it makes me want to be happy all the time so as not to make him sad as well. I guess I didn't realize how melancholy I really am, though as he noted, I never let the sad day stop me. At best you'll notice a far-away look when I think no one is paying attention. In spite of this, how wonderful that he would hurt that I was hurting and that I would try not to to keep from hurting him in return. ...before & after...