May 13, 2005 - 10:38 p.m. I know I'm thinking too much, but I confess that I've been a hermit for the last week, venturing out of my house only a handful of times. Somehow I feel bad about this, like I should be social, like I should go out with my friends. But I like being home. I like being safe here for a little while. I promised myself that I'm going to venture out next week, but will I really do it? I don't know what to say. I don't know how to go about striking up conversations again. Cary, you always made it so easy; sometimes you're like my unsuspecting ambassador to the world. But even though you're not here, I still have others that I'd like to hear from, if I knew what to say. See, I told you I was thinking too much--I'm getting better at recognizing it. I have no excuses...but no initiative either. ...before & after...